Vote!

Don't make me send my fleet of bald eagles out to rough you up a bit. 

It's primary season, and that means it's time to go out and do your duty as an American - vote. Yes, even you. There's some particularly important issues at stake in North Carolina during this particular vote, so it's exceptionally important to get out there and get your America on.

Above: A voting machine gets heroically molested in the name of freedom.

"But...where can I get my America on?!"

Excellent question, Mr./Mrs. Would-Be Patriot. Let's hook you up with a hit of that sweet national pride.

New Hanover County Voting Locations

Brunswick County Voting Locations

BOOM. If you live in a different county, check out this awesome resource. Maybe you've heard of it before.

Now get out there and cast your ballot, eat an apple pie full of hamburgers, and let's have a roman candle fight at a barbeque. AMERICA!